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I once had an extended, heated argument with a client over adding 20 accounts to their 2,000+ value chart of accounts. I spent some of both my credibility and the client’s goodwill during the discussion, and to what end? We both ended up frustrated, and for a while our relationship was strained. There was no reason for either of us to dig in the way we did, but it was the culmination of multiple strange decisions by the client, and I was finally unwilling to give any more ground.

Sometimes you wonder what a client even pays you for. They demand your input, then shun your advice. Your emails may start to sound like argumentative essays. Soon the entire project is on the precipice, all over something as simple as which font to use on the web site, how many accounts to set up or why the data was delivered at 10am on Tuesday instead of EOD Monday, “as promised!”

Obsessing over the little stuff is a natural instinct for many effective consultants. For a competent person, knowingly observing bad decisions, even small ones, can make your skin crawl. New consultants tend to micromanage because they’re anxious to prove their relevance. But experience can make it even worse: the longer you’re in the biz, the more entitled you feel to be trusted, and the more incensed you get when the client resists your input on the details.

Don’t they know how much experience you’ve got? Don’t they know that they’re just…wrong?

Control…and Trust

Consultants who stress over little things are usually worried about something much bigger: having a sense of control. You “let” a client make a few bad calls, then suddenly you see visions of the entire project descending into mediocrity – and with your name on it. Maybe the client trusts your judgment on some matters, but then they begin to feel their own business vision becoming yours, and they start to push back. You get frustrated when they stop listening.

In these cases, it doesn’t take much to push small disputes into political gamesmanship or full-scale turf wars.

In the end, bitter battles over minor timing differences, simple business decisions or even something as minute as the menu size on a website are usually just signs of a relationship not built on trust. You may not trust your client not to blow those small-yet-crucial calls. But your client, on the other hand, may not want to give in because they don’t trust you not to run away from their vision.

Remember this: Expertise can be intimidating; before a client will trust in your ability, they have to trust in your respect for their own ideas and goals.

Pick Your Small Battles

Some contention over details isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Your clients seek your help for a reason: they want the assurance that you’re going to bring expertise, knowledge or experience that they don’t have, and being too flexible could make them either doubt your expertise or feel like you just don’t care.

So sometimes it’s good to stress over the small stuff, as long as you don’t lose the big picture. Just choose the right small stuff.

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