Delivering “Upward” Feedback

With few people to answer to, leaders are often the ones who need feedback the most, so delivering constructive criticism well can make you a true asset: It shows that you aren’t another passive drone, that you explore new ideas and are truly are motivated to improve the company. But it’s also risky business: delivered poorly, even well meaning suggestions can seem hostile, subversive and prove toxic for your working relationships.

Here are some tips for giving your superior a piece of your mind:

Don’t make it an attack

Challenging a leader’s habits, strategies or ideas is not the same as challenging their authority. Feedback should always be about improvement and growth, while politics and power plays are unlikely to change anything – except making you an enemy at the top! The best way to start a grudge match with your boss is to speak from anger, or simply to make a point. Before you bring up a problem, look inside: make sure it won’t be your ego talking.

Is it worth it?

Even if your higher-up is open minded and your people skills are spot on, negative feedback can come with a price. By definition, it involves questioning their skills, leadership, or style. Before opening that can of workplace worms, ask yourself: Is it worth it? Will addressing this issue be more beneficial in the long run for the team and the company? If not, save it for later, or just let it rest. A good bit of advice here came from my grandfather: “When in doubt, don’t.”

Always remember the positive

We tend to focus on things that need fixing, but mentioning things that are going well can encourage a good leader to be even better, or at least make your criticism seem less combative. And don’t bring up problems without mentioning the benefits to fixing them.

They didn’t ask

You’re already ahead of the game when your superiors ask for feedback, as it means they trust you and are, or at least want to be, open-minded. But criticism is a lot more risky when nobody asked. The knee-jerk response to unexpected criticism is to go on the defensive, so warn your boss – begin by asking permission or tactfully assuring the listener that you’re not out to challenge their authority. And again, make sure the issue is worth bringing up – unsolicited advice should have a very good reason to be delivered.

Know what you’re talking about

Hard truths are hard to believe, and if you’re going to question a leader’s strategies or ideas, you better come armed with a full understanding of the issue and specific examples. If you can’t think of any, don’t bring it up. Avoid vague hypotheticals and hyperboles – “You’ve been fifteen minutes late for the last three meetings,” sounds a lot better than, “You’re late all the time.” Corollary: be prepared to be wrong. Your boss may know things that you don’t which could materially affect their behavior or decisions.

Don’t overwhelm

Even if a superior asks for feedback, it doesn’t mean that suddenly the floodgates are open to unload a myriad of minor issues and constructive suggestions. Pick out the most important ones and concentrate on those. Like fire ants, seemingly small, isolated critiques can suddenly seem imposing in large numbers!

It isn’t a democracy

If an issue with a higher-up is worth mentioning, odds are you’re not the only one who thinks so, but be very careful enlisting co-workers to vouch for your case. Always bring unsolicited feedback up in private and never make it seem like a leader’s subordinates are whispering behind their back. Nothing puts people on the defensive like feeling outnumbered or ganged up on.

Know when to stop

Being in a position of authority means you don’t have to take feedback if you don’t want to. If you’re not getting through, know when to let the issue drop. And really let it drop, never act like, “I’m only dropping this because you can boss me around.” A leader who feels like you trust them and respect their authority even if you disagree with their decisions will be more likely to trust and respect your suggestions and criticism.

Finally, a really smart consultant friend of mine taught me about the “compliment sandwich”: start your feedback with a compliment, deliver the feedback, and end with a compliment. Doing this makes the feedback much more palatable because it’s surrounded by positivity.